spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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