Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
