Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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