so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
