Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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