I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
