So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
