I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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