You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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