The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
