I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
