i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
In other news, I just burned my penis
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
