Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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