I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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