sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
