Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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