how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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