this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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