so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
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Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
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Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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