Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
