But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
