It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
