i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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