You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
