Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
