it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
