I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
