I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
