wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
