This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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