You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
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She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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