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Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Randomize
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