is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
