I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
