The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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