yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
