whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
