So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
