Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I stole a fireplace last night.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize