I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
