I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Barsexuality is the new black.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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