Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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