So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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