Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
