he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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