remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
