Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize