I wish you could order shots online.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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