Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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