HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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