good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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