Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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