sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
My vagina just clenched in fear
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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