Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
So much rum. So many feels.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
