She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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