I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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