there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
