sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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