Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I've blown a few things in my day
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
