i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
