Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
