why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
