wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Randomize
